The Asgard Problem
by MEPutney
Summary: What happens when a favorite Asgard needs some Lab rats. Thor not Loki SJ and JD Ship Here


The Asgard Problem

MEPutney

**Disclaimers: **I so do not own Stargate Sg-1 if I did Janet, & Jake would still be a live, also Jack and Sam would have REALLY gotten Married in A200". Oh yea Mittchell would be given to Loki as his new lab rat. It is owned by ShowTime, Sci Fi Channel (Those scum sucking back stabbing rat ass bastards) ETC. I'm just kidnaping the cast of SG-1 for this story the only ransoms I requite is Season 11. I also make no money off of this story.

**Rating:** PG-13/T

**Summary: **What happens when a favorite Asgard needs some Lab rats. (Thor not Loki)

**Characters: **Sam/Jack, Daniel/Janet ship

**Spoilers:** AAAHH Season 7 pre Heroes

**Warnings**:- i.e. character death, angst, PWP, etc

**Archiving:**

**Notes:** I do not have a beta reader at this time please let my know it I have made any grammar so spelling errors. Thank You

**Date:** 11-03-2006

Chapter 1

Finding Solutions

Major Samantha Carter had an idea to help the Asgard with their reproduction through cloning and she wanted to talk to them about it. Sam told only one person, her best friend, Chief Medical Officer Dr. Janet Frasier. The following is what happened on the day the Asgard responded and the after effects.

"Sam, are you nuts?" a shocked Janet said to her friend. "Hon, you're talking about sexual reproduction to a race that has been cloning for over ten thousand years. They're going to want a demonstration. Most likely one from conception to birth. To top it all off, you asked to talk to Thor about this little idea of yours. So we know full well who's going to get to be the father."

After thinking a little, something dawns on Janet, as she glared at Sam, knowing just how sneaky the other woman truly was. AOr was that what you had in mind, when you came up with this crazy scheme? You want to have a baby O'Neill, without you or the Colonel having to give up your military careers.

"Janet, I have no idea what you're talking about. I asked for Thor because he's the Asgard with the most experience with the SGC. So what if Thor needs a demo, and gets Colonel O'Neill involved with it also. Granted I wouldn't be opposed to it at all, but it would be for the greater good of the Asgard race."

Janet cut in muttering, "Yea, I bet you wouldn't. Greater good my sweet ass."

Sam continued ignoring her friend's comments. "Now if Thor got General Hammond or some Marine, then I would mind." Like the idea of Thor using Jack O'Neill as the other "Guinea Pig" never crossed her mind.

"So you wouldn't have a problem if Thor grabbed either Teal'c or Daniel for this insane idea?"

"Janet, I'm sure Thor, won't use Teal'c simply because he's Jaffa. Daniel, now would be like I was sleeping with my brother." She shuttered a little at that imagine. "Besides if Thor did that, I would tell Thor to beam you up for it." Sam went back to the report she had been working on.

"God, Sam, I don't believe you." Shaking her head, Janet, headed for the door. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a white flash while saying, "look I have to get back to the infirm...,". Janet looking back sees Sam gone. "I'll let General Hammond know that the Asgard have made contact." Walking to Hammond's office, Janet realizes what she is doing. "Damn, I've been hanging around SG-1 to long. Now they've got me talking to myself."

When white light disappeared from Major Carter, she found herself on board an Asgard ship. "Major Carter, you requested to speak to me, about the Asgard cloning to reproduce?" Thor, Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet asked standing behind the human woman.

Looking slightly embarrassed Sam responds to the question, "I was wondering why don't the Asgard reproduce sexually instead of by cloning?"

"Major Carter, the Asgard have been cloning ourselves for many millennium." Thor cocked his head, "Since it has been such a long time since we have reproduced that way a demonstration will be needed, Major Carter." Sam looks shocked at the little grey alien bluntness.

There is another flash of white light bringing Col. O'Neill with only a pair of black boxers on. "For crying out loud, Thor! Haven't I told you before to give me some warning before you go ahead and beam me up? I was getting ready to take a shower, I could have been butt ass naked when you grabbed me."

"Butt ass naked, Sir?" Sam snickers informing him of her presence.

"Yes, Carter, butt ass naked and I would have frozen it off up here." Jack realizes that Sam is also on the Asgard ship. "Carter, what are you doing here?"

Thor, raised up one hand for quiet, "I believe I should explain. Major Carter was asking why the Asgard reproduce by cloning instead of sexual reproduction. We have been cloning for so long now that we have forgotten how to reproduce sexually. I was hoping that you and Major Carter would be willing to demonstrate this for the "sgard."

Jack looked shocked for a moment than recovered quickly. Thor, have you lost your mind? Fist off O thought the Asgard could not longer reproduce that way? You want Carter and I to have sex just so your scientists can figure out how it's done?" Taking a deep breath, Jack continues his rant. "I don't believe it. Thor, you must be nuts. A stunt like that could get both Carter and myself court marshaled," shaking his head wondering what was wrong with his grey friend.

Blinking his large black eyes, Thor responds calmly, "O'Neill, what is means by sexual reproduction is using DNA form two member of the Asgard race, also do not worry about your regulations. I will make sure that they do not apply. Also I do not believe you understood what was being asked of you and Major Carter. I was not asking you to have sex, but, to produce offspring together."

Staring gapped mouth, Sam stammers, "Thor, I can't. After the Jolinar incident I was told that I could never have children, due to the naquadah in my blood."

"Major Carter, I must confess that, I did know that you had carried a Tok'ra, who died while trying to save your life. Please rest assured that the naquadah in your blood will, if anything, make it easier for you to conceive a child than before it was in your blood." Thor said to ease Sam's mind.

"Thor, are you trying to tell us that the naquadah in Sam's blood is going to act like a fertilely drug?" Jack asks as he moves over to Sam wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Yes that is what I am saying O'Neill. Major Carter, you are capable of having children if you wish." Thor says in another attempt to comfort his human friends.

In shock over what Thor had said, Sam places her face in the crook of Jack's neck as he holds her. Sam mumbles, "Holly Hanna, Holly Hanna. I can still be a mom. Me, a mom. Jack did you hear, I can still be a mom."

Holding on to Sam tighter "Yea, I heard. So does that mean I get a shot at being a father again? Because if so, I have to warn you that there's no way that I could ever want this to be a one time deal," kissing the top of her head. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that...I love you, and even if you don't want to do this, I still want to be with you Sam."

Smiling into Jack's neck, ADamn it Jack, you sure know how to make a girl feel wanted." Sam turns to the short gray alien, "Thor, I guess you have your first set of participants for your demonstrations. So now what do we do, I mean is it to be done here?"

"No, the demonstrations of the act does not have to be on a ship. Nor do we actually have to witness the act. All that is needed is a recording of your vitals while you are involved in the act, Major Carter." Thor responded.

"Then, Thor, I guess you can beam us back to my house" Jack said holding tight to Sam, "and let General Hammond know what's happening."

Pulling away from Jack, a very upset Sam tries to plead with him, "Jack, I can't. I have to close up my lab, get my car, tell..."

Silencing Sam with a finger on her lips. " Sam, I'm sure Thor can tell Hammond what is going on. Hell, it might just be better if he did. We won't have to hear the first round of yelling. As for your car, I'll drive you to the base in the morning." Seeing the hesitation in her eyes, Jack continues with, "Sam, if you don't want anything to happen tonight then it won't. I know we have a lot of thing to go over and to think about. But after what we've just been told, I want you close. I'm scared to death that this is all a dream and I'll wake up to find you gone, or worse yet, marrying Pete. Please Sam, stay with me tonight." Jack pleads even more with his eyes.

Sam abruptly pulls away, closing her eyes, "Oh god, Pete... I completely forgot about him. What am I going to tell him? Yea, we broke up but he still wants to try an make it work." Taking a deep breath, "Fuck it! I don't need to explain anything to him. Ok Thor, you can send us back to Jack's house." Looking at Jack, "Jack, remember nothing happens tonight and we need to talk, ok?"

"Promise, nothing but talk tonight." Smirking, Jack continues, "Now as for the morning, I make no promise."

"Dr. Frasier, are you sure what you saw was an Asgard transportation flash and not a Goa'uld ring devise?" General Hammond questioned.

"I'm positive that it was the Asgard that took Major Carter. To be exact, I believe it was Thor that took her."

"Why would Thor want to kidnap Major Carter?" General Hammond questions.

"I believe it was because of the message Major Carter sent Thor, Sir." Dr. Frasier stated.

"And the content of the message would be..."

Just then Daniel runs in to the briefing room. "Jack's not answering his phone, so if it was Thor, he's already gotten him, right?"

Acknowledging Daniel's statement with a nod, Hammond asks again, "What was the message, Doctor?"

"I believe that it was about the Asgard means of reproduction and what we could do to help."

As General Hammond starts to ask another question, a white flash envelops the room and Thor stood where the flash had been. "Greetings, I wish to ask the members of the SGC if they would be so kind as to help the Asgard to understand the means that you humans use to reproduce. I have all ready asked O'Neill and Major Carter."

"Thor you can't go around asking people of the SGC to do this favor for you. It could get them court marshaled, namely Col. O'Neill and Major Carter. One of our regulations states that men and women in a direct chain of command cannot have a relationship of that nature. Do you have any idea the position you have place them in?" Hammond informs Thor, rather harshly.

"I understand the problem. O'Neill and Major Carter have already informed me of this regulation. However, the Asgard High Council has agreed to a trade. If you allow us to use your personnel in the SGC and their spouses, we will give you our hyper-drive technology, shields, and the transport beam. Of course this is ONLY if you allow us to ask all members of the SGC and we would greatly appreciate it if we could have O'Neill and Major Carter participate together if they choose to." Thor says quite calmly.

"Ah, Thor, that is all well and good, but what will the people taking part in your experiment receive?" Dr. Frasier asks.

"Well those that have a hard time conceiving or carrying the child will have the benefit of our medicine, also any conditions or diseases will not be passed on the child. I believe that would be a great incentive to recruit people into this study." Thor replies.

"Well people, I have to inform the president of this," then Hammond goes into his office.

Janet in a move to lighten the mood in the conference room asks, "So, Thor, what medical technology will we be getting?"

Mean while at Jack's house. Jack is holding Sam close. "Sam I have an important question. Why would you want an old war horse like me to the father of your children?"

Sam pulls away for a moment, and just stares at him while he keeps talking. AI mean, some people will think I'm the kids' grandfather..." Sam silence's him with a finger on his lips.

"Jack, I don't care what people will think. You are a kind, generous man that is wonderful with kids. I also know that you will be a great father no matter your age." Sam moves closer starting to kiss Jack's neck, as she runs her had down the hair on his chest.

"Sam, stop! I thought we promised nothing tonight?" Jack asks while trying to stop her.

Smirking, Sam starts nipping at Jack's neck, "No Jack, I did not promise that, YOU did. Besides, don't we have a few years to make up for?"

"MMMMMMMM, Sam, what about the Regs? They'll still be there in the morning, I don't know what will happen tomorrow. But I am tired of waiting. We'll do this even if I have to retire again."

"No Jack, you're needed at the SGC. I'll hand in my resignation and come back as a civilian consultant, that way we both can still work there," Sam states, now straddling Jack's lap.

"Sam, listen to me, I will not jeopardize your career this way. I want it to be done right, I am willing to wait. Hey, knowing Thor we'll have the frat Regs lifted in no time, ok? And once they are, I have something very important to ask you."

Sam smiling, looking up at Jack, "Of course I'll marry you ."

Smirking Jack shake his head, "Ah, Sam, that's now what I wanted to ask you." He takes in a deep breath and some how getting on to his knees, on the floor," Sam would you PLEASE come with me to my cabin in Minnesota. Please. Please. Please."

"Jack, you ... I don't believe you, and yes I'll go with you to your cabin, quite willingly. But do I have to fish in a pond that has no fish in it?" Sam laughs out.

"What? I'll have you know that there are so fish in that lake they're just shy around new people. Anyways, want to join me?" Walking over to the dresser and pull out two Air Force tee shirts throwing one at Sam as he puts the other on.

"MMM sleep, blissful sleep, but don't I get a pair of shorts too?" smirking as she pulls on Jack's shirt over her BDU shirt in the process of removing both her BDU shirt and bra.

Taking out a pair of sweat pants for Sam, Jack turns back to see Sam taking off her black shirt and bra form under the other shirt shaking his head.

"What? What's so funny Jack?" Sam asks defensively.

"Nothing Sam I just still can't figure out how women can take off their bra and change shirts without taking everything off." Jack confesses to Sam.

"It's a women's gift." Sam replies smirking.

"Come on Carter time to hit the sack."

"Yes, Sir. Col. Sir."

Grabbing Sam and pulling her on the bed with him, "Stop being so cheeky Major." Then softens up a bit and loosens his grasp, "I means it Sam, we need our sleep for what the morning brings."

Hammond strolls back into the briefing room after his phone call with the President, "Well people I have some good news. The President is allowing the Frat Regs to be suspended on a case by case basis at the will of the base commander. In an other words ME."

Thor, "Then I can count on O'Neill and Major Carter's participation in the study? They would be most helpful."

"That will be completely up to Col. O'Neill and Major Carter if they want to or not. Also I have been granted permission to allow family members whom want to be involved in this little study, clearance to the SGC."

"Ah, General, how will Sam and Jack be informed about this ah... I guess you can call it a development in policy?" Daniel questions.

"The sign-in desk will inform them to report to me first thing in the morning." Hammond informed the other two. "Thor can you be at the meeting with Col. O'Neill and Major Carter, tomorrow?" Seeing the gray alien nod its head Hammond continued, "OK people that is all. Dismissed."

Jack wakes up feeling disoriented for a moment, an other person sleeping next to him, before he remembers what transpired the day before. Opening his eyes, he is greeted with the sight of one Sam Carter cuddling up to him asleep. After a few minutes Sam begins to wake up, "Hey sleepy head, 'bout time you got up."

"MMM, what time is it?" Sam asks while still trying to wake up.

"Bout 0400 come on shower breakfast them I'll get you home for you to change, ok?"

Sam opening up one eye look at Jack, "Better idea, you shower and dress while I make coffee here, then we go over to my place and you make breakfast while I shower and dress."

"You're right that is a better idea. God I love you for being so smart, but why do you what a broken old dummy like me?" As, Jack kisses Sam on the forehead.

"I happen to know for a fact that you have at least a master's degree, and unlike a certain archeologist happen to believe it not for Military Tactics."

"Your right, Sam, it was in Military Conduct." Jack smirks.

"Jack the SGC's cover story is Deep Space Telemetry. I know for a fact the General Hammond knows noting about Astrometry so is 2IC should to make it believable should have a degree in such a subject also I have to know that Astrometry is your hobby." Sam now wide a wake pins Jack to the bed.

"Yea, well ah, Sam? What happed to you getting dressed and making coffee while I shower and dressed so we could get over to you place you clean cloths for you?" Jack wonders out loud getting nervous.

Grinning like a fool Sam responds, "I don't know I kind of like my new chair."

Growling, "SAM, we have to get to work. Even if all I do it turn in my request for retirement... Again.

Sam lets out a long suffering sigh as she rolls off of Jack's chest, "OK, so get moving Fly boy, I'll get the Coffee.

"Ma'am. Yes, Ma'am." Snapping, Sam a sloppy salute a commanded by a cheeky grin. "Oh you didn't answer me were going fishing right?"

Sam rolling her eyes, " Yes, Jack, I'll go with you fishing."

At the first check point on the base, "Sir, Ma'am, General Hammond wants to see you both in his office as soon as you arrive on base.

"Thank, you Airmen." Then turns to Sam as they enter the elevator, "So, Sam, you ready to go and face the music?"

"Jack, I'm nervous, what if the President said no and the refuse to let you retire?"

Pulling Sam in to a tight hug, Jack whispers, "Don't worry were figure something out. Even if I have to ask Thor to kidnap us, besides I hear the Cimmeria lovely this time of year."

Sam smiles and laughs releasing all of her fears, as she so scold by Jack, "Hey what have I told you? No giggling, Carter."

As they get off the elevator, Daniel runs in to them. "Sam, Jack good thing I ran in to you I have to news for you!"

"Daniel, Carter and I are on are way to Hammond's office can't this wait? I really don't what to keep the General waiting." Jack says as he pushes Daniel aside, and continues to head for Hammond's office.

Sam leaning in close to Jack, "That was mean Jack, you know full well knowing Daniel he was just wanted to give us a heads up on what the decision is."

"I, know its just that some times Daniel gets so excited it annoys me, remember when we were on the planet were Ernest was stranded? I did eve get the excited when we found the big ass space gun, on ah were you meet Orlin. "

"Was the before or after I stared to see Orlin, Sir?"

Well before Carter and stop being cheeky that's my job." Turns and winks at Sam before going on, "God, I'd hate too know what Jake would do to me for corrupting his little girl."

"Well then Sir you should be happy to know I was corrupted in high school. So unless when you were a Captain you dated a girl that was a senior in high school then there is no way you could not have corrupted me." With that Sam picks up the pace leaving Jack behind her.

Jack stops and stars after her in wonder, "NNNAAA it couldn't have been her." Then quickens his pace to catch up with Sam.

Once in Hammond's office, "Jack, close the door please, what I have to say should be done in privet."

Closing the door both Sam and Jack were a little surprised to see that Thor was also part of the meeting with General Hammond.

"Greetings O'Neill, Major Carter, was your conversation last night after you left my ship beneficial to you both?" Thor asked in greeting.

"Ah well you could say that, Carter agreed to go fishing with me sometime. So yea you could call it a beneficial talk." Jack informed the other with a smirk on his face.

"Col. I do not believe that is what Thor was taking about you dam well know it." Hammond's stern voice uttered.

"Begging your pardon SIR, but I really want to possible place Carters career in jeopardy over what could or could not have been said last night, in a privet conversations between FRIENDS." Jack snarled back at the General, "So unless this screw ball experiment of Thor's has the President's approval, I really don't think its any of you business." Then turns to Thor, "Ah no a fence meant Thor but it still sound a bit screwy to me."

"That is understandable, O'Neill." Thor responds.

Glaring at Hammond not caring about what comes out of his mouth. "So what is the verdict? I mean do I try to retie or do Carter and I run a way to an other planet?"

"Jack would you shut up and sit the hell down. I can't let you retire nor can I allow Major Carter to resign her commission, there are stop loses on both of your files." Hammond stated quite calmly.

"So the only way Sam or I get out is to DIE?" Jack blurts out while still standing.

"EXACTLY! Now in light of this the President has issued new regulations for the SGC, as well as the go a head for Thor and Major Carter's project. First off the frat regs will be suspended on a case by case basis to be reviewed by the base commander. Which in is ME! Now I do believe that conversation with Major Carter last night is very much my business." Hammond stated staring Jack down as Jack falls back in to the chair behind him.

"Sir, I believe that I speak for both Col. O'Neill and my self, when I request permission to peruse a relationship with the Col." Sam asks simply after a moment of silence.

"Well Col. Do you also wish this?" Hammond asks smiling over the shocked look on Jack's face.

"Hun? What? Yea of course I want to date Carter. I mean come on Sam is super hot." Jack wincing as he relies that just came out of his mouth in front of his CO.

"Well in that case your request is granted well will be upon my receiving your written requests from the both of you." Hammond giving Jack a knowing look. "Dismissed. Oh Col. Major one of the thing I have to make sure that is not happing is favoritism. Not like any one on SG-1 would ever say that is happing."

20 minutes later Jack and Sam head for Hammond's office separately only to arrive there at the same time. "Wow, Sir this must be the first time you ever stared paper work right a way or finished it on time." Sam teased.

"Well Carter I have a good reason to get this done so quickly now don't I?" Jack joked back, "Come on lets get this over with I have an uncontrollable urge to kiss you." Opening the door to Hammond's office.

"Well, I'm surprised that you fished this paper work so quickly. If I had know this I would have also informed you the all of your reports also need to be in."

"Ah, Sir I don't believe that I have any..." Jack begins to say.

"Jack, I was just teasing you. Now that I have to official requests I can now grant them officially, and inform you that Sg-1 is on 2 weeks of down time, Drs. Frasier and Jackson have all ready given me there request and in light of granting them I have given your team some leave. Oh and Major your are order to stay off base and Col. your ordered to make sure she dose so, under stood?" Hammond tells the other two.

Jack grinning ear to ear, "Well, well Doc and Space Monkey who'd a thunk it. Ah yes sir I can definitely keep Major Carter of base for the next 2 weeks." Then turning to Sam "Now come Dorothy we're off to see the Wizard."

Sam's laughter as Jack leads her out of the office make Hammond shakes his head in wonder, "I hope I did the right thing here and that Jake won't kill me."

Out side the mountain Jack walks Sam over to her car, "So we have off the next 2 weeks what to go to my cabin?" Seeing the look on Sam's face Jack continues, "Guess not so what do you want to do to night dinner and movies? The little theater down town this week is showing _Casablanca_? You know Bogey What?"

Sam shaking her head smiling, "Casablanca? Never pictured you as a war/romance film fan, that's all. Yes I know you a fan of the _Wizard of OZ_ but..."

"Hey they're both classics like Bob Hope and Bing Cosby road shows, Danny Kay movies and _Singing in the Rain_."

"You like _Singing in the Ran_?" Sam asks completely shocked.

"Yea, I like all the film from back then, they're great. Well maybe not the Shirley Temple ones the kid was to sweet. Well here's a real shocker for you Sam I love _The Day the Earth Stood_ still and _Forbidden Planet_. Those are classic Sci Fi not that _Star Wars_ crap Teal'c likes and the _Star Trek_ garbage Daniel enjoys."

"Really, Jack you think Star _Wars_ is Crap and _Star Trek_ is garbage, if so I don't thinks this well work?" Sam hides a smile as she teases Jack about Sci Fi movies and TV. "Ok Jack one last chance what do you think about oh, _Doctor Who_?"

"Oh the Doctor that's a gre.. ah shit so you got me yes I like Science Fiction. God your getting to good and get information out of people. Soon we won't need Teal'c to scare it out of them." Jack said smiling at Sam.

"Flattery well get you nowhere, Jack. Also you can pick me up at 6 tonight." Sam informs Jack while heading to her car.

"Hun? Oh the movie, right. Sam and don't for get casual wear but not some of the bummy stuff you have worn for team nights.

"What not grease stained and ripped up jeans form working on my bike? But there so comfy and I have been told that I look hot in them" Sam yells back before pulling a out of the parking space.

As Sam drive a way Jack drops his head on to his truck door, "Oy, what have I gotten my self in to?"


End file.
